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Enhancing Relationships: The Transformative Power of DBT's Interpersonal Effectiveness Skill, GIVE

by Izzy Brown, MA, LPC, R-DMT


In the realm of interpersonal relationships, effective communication lays the foundation for connection and understanding. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) offers valuable tools for enhancing interpersonal skills, and one such tool is the GIVE skill. GIVE stands for Gentle, Interested, Validate and Easy manner. It serves as a guide for navigating interactions with others in a way that fosters mutual respect and positive outcomes. In this blog post, we will look at GIVE and how it can create safe, respectful and meaningful relationships!



Gentle- Being gentle involves approaching conversations with kindness and compassion, even in moments of disagreement or conflict. It entails speaking softly, avoiding harsh language, and showing empathy towards the other person’s perspective. By adopting a gentle approach, individuals can create a safe and supportive environment conducive to open communication and connection.  


Interested- Maintaining an interested attitude demonstrates genuine curiosity and attentiveness towards the other person. Active listening and asking open-ended questions convey a sincere interest in understanding their thoughts and feelings. By expressing genuine interest, individuals validate the other person’s experiences and foster a sense of being heard and understood. 


Validation- Validation plays a crucial role in acknowledging and affirming the emotions of the other person, even if you may not agree with their viewpoint. Validating their experiences validates their sense of self-worth and fosters trust within the relationship. It involves acknowledging their emotions without judgement, offering empathy and understanding and reassuring them that their feelings are valid and important.


Easy manner- Easy manner involves staying relaxed and composed during interactions. It entails avoiding defensiveness, being flexible and being willing to compromise when necessary. By staying calm and approachable, individuals can create a conducive atmosphere for constructive dialogue and problem-solving. 


Incorporating the GIVE skill into interpersonal interactions can lead to transformative outcomes in relationships. By practicing Gentle, Interested, Validate and Easy communication, individuals can cultivate deeper connections, resolve conflicts more effectively and foster healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Ultimately, mastering the GIVE skill empowers individuals to navigate interpersonal interactions with grace, empathy and authenticity enhancing the quality of their relationship and overall well-being. 


Happy communicating!


Izzy Brown, MA, LPC, R-DMT


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