by Eleni Clavijo Adamopoulos, MA, LPC, Reiki Master
Conflict is an interesting concept in that it is something we usually try to avoid at all costs yet can be the very thing we need to lean into. What if we shift our mindset and approach it from a different perspective…. Imagine conflict being a type of communication that helps us collaborate to solve problems better in our environments so we can thrive within them? With that said, would we still fear it as much as we do?
The reality of conflict resolution is the process in which two or more parties work toward a solution to a problem or dispute. The parties involved work together in a productive way to achieve a result that satisfies everyone involved. We can intellectually comprehend this however, when in practice our emotions come up and it is difficult to navigate in harmony. There are skills that we can use for conflict resolution to help produce effective, long-term solutions.
Here are some core skills and characteristics to adopt for healthy conflict resolution:
1.) Active listening
Active listening focuses on being attentive to what the other person has to say. This skill is commonly used to better connect with your significant other, family member, friend or colleague. To practice active listening, the most important this you can do is have an open mind (and open ears!). Also, be sure to ask questions to get clarification on the person’s point and focus on identifying each ones’ goals.
2.) Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence describes the ability to perceive and understand other peoples’ emotions as well as your own. This skill is essential because it prevents the situation from escalating. If you can effectively interpret your opposition’s emotions, it’ll be easier to communicate with them without provoking them. Recognizing and curtailing confusion, anger, and frustration from the conflict leaves space for everyone involved to think creatively and logically about a solution.
3.) Realistic Outcome of Expectations
The conflict can sometimes serve as an opportunity to air previous grievances that have developed between the involved parties over time. Now, the problem at hand can't be resolved until the historical issues are addressed. Relationships between the people involved in a conflict don't always go back to normal when a problem is resolved. This relationship needs to be nurtured after a solution is found in order to prevent future issues from arising.
Applying these skills at the right time and in the right situation will help reduce miscommunication and create more opportunities for everyone to reach common ground. Conflicts are rarely simple to overcome because the problem may not be solved right away, even if the solution is obvious. Having an open line of communication is the best approach for fostering a healthy, long term relationship!
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